i saw on the news that some wacko in tuscon started it

Nope Larry, it was a fly fisherman from Alabama who went to Xingfurd, China to fish in the Covid River. While there he was thirsty and drank from the river without first sterilizing it with 98% rice wine from Vietnam. He came home infected with the Covid virus which took 17 2/5 days to germinate. After it germinated he had sex with a sheep from Greenland which then had babies which ended up getting sheared and the wool sold to a firm in Mexico which made socks out of it and were sold to ..................